ITI Directory

Directory of Government ITI and Private ITI under NCVT

10) They are used to all nighters
9) They get to learn what all those buttons on your calculator are for
8) They are always willing to experiment
7) They know how to decrease and increase friction
6) They know all about heat transfer
5) They do it with more torque
4) Engineering couples have better moments
4b) They know how to deal with stress and strain
3) They know how to test their rigid cantelevers
2) "Lubrication, Friction, and Wear" is really a class And the number one reason to date an engineer....

1.. Beforesex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself..
Moral: In life no one helps you, once you're fucked.

2.. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

3.. What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!

4.. 3 People having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!

Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.

Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.

"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle

#3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

An engineer took a cruise to the Caribbean. It was wonderful; the experience of his life. But, alas, a hurricane came up unexpectedly and the ship went down. He was swept onto the shore of an island. No people, no supplies, nothing.
He explored but found nothing other that some bananas and coconuts. He was desperate and forlorn, but what could he do? For the next four months ate bananas, drank coconut juice and looked for a ship to come to his rescue.

An electrical, a mechanical and a civil engineer all sat down one day to try and decide of which of their faculties god must be to design the human body.

The electrical engineer says god must be an electrical engineer, for you only have to look at the complex nervous system powered be electrical impulses.

A Software Engg was smoking
Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
Smoking is injurious to health.
Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings.

They asked The scientist; What is 2 + 2?
He replied... 4.000000000

They asked The engineer; What is 2 + 2?
He replied... 4.0 (+/- )

They asked The attorney; What is 2 + 2?
He replied... what would you like it to be? :o)

A engineering student is on his way to class, when his friend, another engineering student, rides up on a bike.
"Where did you get the bike?", asks the first engineering student. The other explains, "Well, I was on my way to Unit Ops, when one of the
cheerleaders rides up and jumps off her bike. She screams with excitement, runs up to me, strips off all her clothes, gives me a big hug and a kiss, and said she'd give me anything I wanted!"

The first engineering student says, "Good choice. Her clothes would never have fit you."

An engineer, lawyer and CPA go together on a camping trip one summer.

After a night of drinking around the campfire, the CPA stood up and said "Watch This!" he took out a pistol, threw his bottle of burbon in the air and shot it.

The lawyer, not to be out done said, "that's nothing." He threw his bottle of scotch in the air and shot it blind-folded.