An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist went to the races one Saturday and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race,
the engineer says, "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."
How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? None. That’s a second year subject.
How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? “Will this question be in the final examination?”
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field.”
“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.
“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
You Might Be An Engineer...
So, since I am actually dating an engineer (a mechanical engineering masters student, might I add!), I think I’m allowed to joke about this…although I don’t think this is going to impress EcoHawk very much :)
10. Shirts and jeans are our formal dress. Hot dog and a six-pack is our seven-course meal. Sadly, this one is very, very accurate I’m afraid – but they really do come out of their shell when they’re comfortable. When you do get them to throw on a pair of dress-pants however, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how well they clean up!
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence.
The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."
Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
Scientists think that the real world approximates equations.
Mathematicians are unable to make the connection..
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want mustard with that?"
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
Reviewing the first phase of the redevelopment action plan, Sisodia gave his suggestions for further improvements and said the Arvind Kejriwal government was determined to make Delhi's youngsters skilled and efficient enough to stand on their own feet.
NCVT ITI Result 2021 has been declared for the first, second, third, and fourth semesters yesterday. All the appeared students can check NCVT ITI Result on the official website, ncvtmis.gov.in.
NCVT ITI Result 2021 will show minimum marks obtained by the students. The provisional marks sheet can be downloaded from the website along with your result.
The board will also distribute the original mark sheet in few days.
Gujarat's government has decided to give mass promotion to the nursing and ITI (Industrial Training Institute) students for the academic year 2021.
This mass promotion will be given to all the nursing and ITI students in the state except for the final year students.
The Gujarat CM Vijay Rupani decided that the final year exam for the Nursing and ITI courses will be conducted and students from other semesters will be given mass promotion.
Hyderabad: The last date for submission of applications for admission to Maulana Azad National Urdu University (MANUU)- Industrial Training Institute (ITI) is August 6, 2021. The ITI trades for which the admissions are available include draughtsman, civil, refrigeration and air conditioning, electrician, electronic, mechanic and plumber.
Principal, MANUU ITI Hyderabad, Dr Arshia Azam said that application forms can be downloaded from University website manuu.edu.in and sent by post or submitted by hand to ITI Office, MANUU Campus, Gachibowli, Hyderabad – 500 032.
दक्षिण पूर्व मध्य रेलवे की ओर से अपरेंटिस पदों के लिए इच्छुक और योग्य उम्मीदवारों से आवेदन आमंत्रित किए गए हैं। इस रेलवे भर्ती के माध्यम से संगठन में कुल 1,033 पद भरे जाएंगे। एसईसीआर रेलवे की ओर से अपरेंटिस भर्ती के लिए पंजीकरण लिंक सक्रिय कर दिया गया है। रेलवे अपरेंटिस भर्ती में आवेदन करने की अंतिम तिथि 24 मई, 2022 को समाप्त होगी।
Hyderabad: The Industrial Training Institute (ITI), Hyderabad, Maulana Azad National Urdu University (MANUU) is conducting second phase counselling for admissions into ITI trades on September 28. The counseling will start at 9.30 am at ITI, MANUU Campus, Gachibowli.
Himachal Pradesh schools and colleges will be closed till January 26 in light of the rising Covid-19 cases.
Himachal Pradesh Chief Minister in a conference with medical and police officials today gave the order to close all schools and colleges in the state till January 26. The CM also ordered the officials to ensure enhanced Covid-19 testing, and effective monitoring of Covid clusters and perimeters to check the spread of the third wave of Covid-19.
As many as 150 Industrial Training Institutes (ITIs) which were upgraded by Tata Technologies Limited (TTL) under Karnataka's UDYOGA program are set to be inaugurated in two weeks.
Low-dose immune tolerance induction (ITI) — a type of treatment that can be used to eliminate inhibitors that limit the effectiveness of replacement therapies — achieved partial success in 80% of children with severe hemophilia A and high inhibitor levels, according to a recent study.
The study, “Low-dose immune tolerance induction therapy in children of Arab descent with severe haemophilia A, high inhibitor titres and poor prognostic factors for immune tolerance induction treatment success,” was published in the journal Haemophilia.
ITI Diploma Courses after 8th: आठवीं पास करने के बाद आईटीआई कोर्सों से सफलता हासिल कर सकते हैं। निजी व सरकारी संस्थानों और कंपनियों में भी हैं कई नौकरी के अवसर, नीचे पढ़ें आईटीआई कोर्सों का विवरण।
Industrial Training Institute patna: आईटीआई की पढ़ाई कर रहे छात्रों के लिए सरकार ने बड़ा फैसला लेते हुए उनको प्रमोट कर दिया है. वहीं इस फैसले से छात्र प्रथम वर्ष के परीक्षा दिए बिने दूसरे वर्ष में प्रमोट हो जाएंगे. कोरोना के बड़ते प्रभाव को देखते हुए यह घोषणा प्रशिक्षण महानिदेशालय भारत सरकार के द्वारा किया है. डीजीटी के द्वारा जारी किए गए इस आदेश से बिहार के छात्रों को भारी राहत मिलने की उम्मीद है.